I woke up late on Sunday morning, i thought in my head “oh God” i am going to be late for church again. I ran to my kids rooms to wake them up and get ready for church.
Got ready in less than thirty minutes, remembered i had to give a bowl of food to someone further the street from my church. I thought not now i would have to do that later in the day. We ran to the car and drove straight to the church.
Church was beautiful as usual, the word went straight into my heart. I decided right then in church to put in my name as a volunteer. I don’t want to be a breeze in breeze out christian anymore.
Got home to eat yam and fried egg. Spent time talking to the kids, and then it was time for them to go do their revision for GCSE. I told them i would go and rest a little bit. I received several calls from the person i was supposed to give the food to, he said he had collected the food while i was asleep earlier in the day. Surprised because the kids did not tell me.
I slept and got woken up by a call from the same person, i picked the call and said hello. No answer, i then heard people having a conversation in the background. A man and a woman, that’s strange, because that person was supposed to be my estranged husband. Huh! strange he just called me several times today. We were trying to come back, but we were just slow with reconciliation. I was alert at this point and listening actively to the conversation. After about a minute and a half, the supposed husband realized that his phone was calling me, he let out a scream and cut the phone. I was fully suspicion now, i called him back and said he called me, anger raising in me but i calmed myself, he started telling me bullocks and i cut the phone. My mind was racing a thousand beats a minute. i checked my phone for his address but could not find it. i dismissed the horrible thought creeping into my mind. I did not think much of it after then, but then Monday night to Tuesday morning, i woke up and something told me to call him and ask for his address, I thought if i ask him for myself he wouldn’t give it to me. I need to get the address anyhow, so i lied that it is for the children. In the middle of the night i called him and said i need the address for the children’s school. he said he had given to me before, i told him i had deleted which i had done, because i wanted him to invite me to his flat himself. So long story short, he sent the address to me Tuesday morning. I dropped my kids off at school. Drove back home, but then my mind said “go to Bedford and see for yourself what is going on”. I drove home because i was scared of what i would find, but then when i got home my curiosity got the better of me, so off to Bedford i drove.
I easily found his address, and noticed someone open the window, “i thought someone is home”. i knocked and no body came to the door. I called my supposed husband, he picked the phone and i told him i am at his front door and i noticed someone in his flat. he was shocked and started screaming at me. He said i should never have done that, he was just insulting me, he said so many things i just could not do anything. I felt now i have every reason to leave now. it is two strikes. A friend of mine had caught him before but he denied it and promised it was not true. Now i do not need a soothsayer or my friend to tell me that IT IS FINISHED BETWEEN US. WOW IT HURTS SO BAD BUT I NEED TO GO ON.
I don’t know what to do, i called my Aunt in the US, she gave some good advise and told me to hear him out. My brother called me too but i guess he had called my brother just like he threatened to do. My brother told me to call him, i told him i will do as he said but i know in my mind i would not call my ex husband.
LIFE LIFE LIFE!!! Second time around i am at square one, single and bitter. My first thoughts were i did not deserve it. But then i think because i thought in my mind he was not treating me fine, so i took him for granted. Now i have lost him. So sad. I pray to God to help me with this ache in my mind. IT HURTS REALLY BAD.
omotanwasholarin 